The Ass Kicking Guide To Getting What You Want

Dec 26, 2014
4 min read

Have you heard the saying, “Nothing easy is worth doing”?

I can’t remember where I first heard it or who said it, but when I used the magical Google it seems to be paraphrased from U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt.

I’m in the middle of reading Walt Disney’s epic biography—and by epic I mean over 800 pages long! You think he had things easy?

Nope, no way.

Walt Disney poured all his money into his art and was close to bankruptcy for most of his life.

But if he didn’t persevered we wouldn’t have Disneyland. Can you imagine a world without the ‘Happiest Place on Earth?’

What would have all our childhoods been like? Where would we have demanded our parents take us? We might have had to play with matches to entertain ourselves instead.

We Must Control Our Reaction

As I get older, I tend to believe we shouldn’t do the expected or the ordinary. We should do the extraordinary. In fact, I’m enjoying the challenge of doing difficult things. Of expanding my horizons, learning new skills, and becoming a bigger, better person. Things like producing big-buget movies, writing new novels, starting new companies.

I would highly recommend you read Ryan Holiday’s Obstacle is the Way on at least a yearly basis.

Yeah, it’s that good.

It’s all about how to flip obstacles and turn them into opportunities. Ryan uses all types of examples from history to illustrate his point. It’s not a difficult read but will possibly change your life.

Most of us (me included) have the bad habit of moaning how tough life is and if only we had more time, more money, more control.

I used to be deadly afraid of obstacles – stress, challenges, writer’s block. But I’ve faced all those and you know what? It’s not that bad. It’s how we react to these obstacles that really defines us.

I’m rewatching season one of House of Cards in preparation for the new season. One of the main characters, Doug Stamper, a fixer for Frank Underwood, says “I use my fear. It makes me stronger.”

Nobody likes to feel afraid but we have two choices. We can be ruled by fear of death, of poverty, whatever. Or we can be like Doug and use it to make us stronger. We can turn that fear around and allow it to motivate us.

How to Define You

The scariest and hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was produce Neutral Territory. I’m by nature a shy, introverted writer. A producer has to be a ‘boss’. They need to be confident, self-assured, and most importantly know how to get shit done. I had exactly none of those skills.

But I was forced into it. Otherwise we would have failed. Instead we landed in over 30 festivals, won 15 awards from across the world, and sold the film to a major television station.

I learned a lot of skills but the most important was how to respect myself.

Now you may think, ‘Joel I already respect myself.’ And that very well maybe the case but most people can have more respect for themselves. It’s not a yes or no question but graded on a slide.

If we truly respected ourselves we wouldn’t take crap from our boss or spouse or family. We would fight for what we want and we would generally be happier with ourselves and our lives.

How To Overcome Obstacles

A recent obstacle I faced was trying to edit an anthology of short stories. It was my first time collaborating with so many authors and my first time publishing directly with Amazon.

I certainly made a lot of mistakes. I made mistakes editing, with formatting and with marketing. I fixed what I could and what I couldn’t do, I moved on. Some of the authors were angry at me for decisions I made, things I did or didn’t do. But you know what? I learned from those mistakes and it taught me a bunch.

I’m not taking about publishing, editing or writing; but the bigger lessons about relationships, leadership, and determination. Those things you learn by doing and by carrying on (as the British might say!) They aren't taught in a manual or in a classroom.

I don’t know about you but I want to live an interesting life. I don’t want to be stuck in a cubicle and watch as life passes me by. Do the same things, day in, day out; month in, month out; year in, year out.

If you need permission to take some risks and do the thing you’ve always wanted to do but were too afraid what your family, your colleagues, or your friends might think of you; respect yourself to lead the life that you want!

written by Joel Mark Harris