Overcoming Obstacles To Get Unstuck

May 27, 2015
4 min read

It seems everywhere I turn I talk to people who feel they are stuck in work or in an unhappy relationship; or they feel a sense of helplines or unfulfilled in some aspect of their lives.

People don’t know what they want to do or where to turn to rid themselves of this feeling of being stuck. Even if you don’t have that feeling now I’m sure at some point you did and perhaps you’ll feel this way again.

I know everybody has been there from time to time.

The Reasons You Feel Stuck

There are two main reasons people get this stuck feeling: money and fear. They are interconnected of course; sometimes money can be a very real tangible problem while fear is, of course, physiological, but can be equally debilitating.

We never have enough money, no matter how much we accumulate. Once we realize that it’s about how we choose to allocate resources then we can start to free our mind up.

There are two ways of accumulating more money and that is get more or spend less.

It may seem elementary but the basis of feeling stuck is a paralysis in which we somehow don’t realize the very basic elements of life. We aren't logical and we don't think straight.

It can be difficult getting more money sometimes – often it means learning a new skill or it means taking on more hours.

But everybody is in control of how much you spend. I know you’re probably already objecting in your mind to this. . . But I have to pay the babysitter and the groceries and rent. . .

One Step At A Time

But perhaps getting unstuck means moving into a cheaper apartment and paying for some night classes. Or maybe it’s eating out less often or maybe it’s buying in bulk. Maybe it's sitting down and doing a full count of all your expenses that add up.

You need to take small little action steps each day and start controlling your money. Even saving a few extra dollars a day can really help and will make you feel more in control.

Remember even Warren Buffet started by buying pinball machines not multinational companies.

The second aspect to becoming unstuck is fear, as I previously mentioned. We all have an innate fear that stops us taking risks. Somehow it was built into our psyche long ago. We have fear of changing jobs or going on alone.

You can control fear by imagining the worst possible outcome. I know that's counterintuitive but don't stop reading just yet. Hear me out.

Think about what happens if you change your job and you absolutely hate it. Your co-workers are cruel and your boss piles a tremendous amount of work on your desk. Would it be worse than where you are right now? Maybe, maybe not.

As the saying goes, hope for the best, plan for the worst. It’s a good motto to live by.

Perhaps you’ll lose your job and have to live with your parents or couch surf for a period. It’s the unknown that we fear the most because once we’ve been through it we realize that, although it may be bad, we have the capability to survive.

Some of the best entrepreneurs are people who emigrated from other countries, who came here with nothing. These entrepreneurs were successful because they conquered fear. They had nothing to lose and they realize that even if they lose everything they will be okay because they had done it before. It's kind of a stoaic philosophy.

It’s because we are afraid of the unknown that we fail to act and hence we get stuck.

Don't Let Fear Stop You

Another fear we have is the fear of perception.

What will others think of me if I fail?

You may question yourself and say, at least I have a job, but my family will think I’m a total loser if I have to move back in with them.

No matter what anybody says we still derive much of our self-esteem from those around us, even our casual acquaintances.

But if you realize that our self-esteem is kind of like a stock, sometimes it dips and sometimes it rises.

Take George Clooney for example, one of the most successful actors on the planet. But not too long ago he was just another unknown man struggling to make a name for himself. He was 33 when he got cast as Doctor Ross on ER which put him on the road to where he is today. But I’m sure he struggled with a lot of fear and self-doubt as well.

So although you may be stuck back in your parents’ basement it isn’t permanent. At one point, George Clooney worked as a door-to-door insurance salesman, which may be close to the worst job in the world.

As the saying goes, life as its ups and downs. We need to realize being stuck is only permenant if we allow obsticles to stop us. Don't let your problems seize you up.

Joel Mark Harris is a writer, film producer and marketer. (@joelmarkharris) He is the founder of Story Laboratory which helps artists market their work. To get a free ebook on How to Make Money Blogging and a Content Marketing Tool Kit sign up HERE